So, I'm knitting quite a few squares for the Mumsnet blankets, some on behalf of other people who have donated wool. MrsKwazii's daughter liked CareBears, plus one of my donors gave me some red wool to knit with even though red wasn't on The List of Approved Colours so back to Ravelry I go, and I found this gem:
Lovely, I thought. The pattern is 'intermediate' level but, wouldn't you know, that's exactly the word I used to describe my knitting capablities just the other day to a friend. I don't have a clashing pink teacup, but otherwise it's all looking good.
Until I get to row 11. The instruction is as follows:
(K1 P1) twice. K4. yo [Sl1. K2tog. psso. (yo) twice] 6 times. Sl1. K2tog. psso. yo. K4. (P1 K1) twice.
Er, que? Who with the what now? I checked in The Book and I'm none the wiser. I just can't make this work with 37 stitches, no matter how much I want to.
I think about my experiences with the cabling pattern. And the disaster that was the last 4-way mitred square, and how that made me feel (crap, basically).
So, I ask on the blanket thread on Mumsnet and everyone is lovely, really helpful. But I'm still not getting it, quite, so they actually start another thread just to help sort me out, and so we don't derail the original thread.
Not only do I - eventually - get to the point where I understand what I'm meant to be doing, but another member, tribpot, photographs the stages step-by-step to get us all through it and then re-writes the pattern so it's not only easier, but better, avoiding the now-named 'Yawning Chasms Caused by Double Yarn-Overs of Doom'. (Not only are they better than me at knitting, they are far, far wittier.) GleamingHeels notices - gasp! - a mistake in the original pattern as well. Beaten, and improved. Job done. And here's my finished article - by Jove, it actually looks like the original:
Team Heart has won. It wasn't easy; as trib said:
'<mops brow again> It was brutal, man. BRUTAL.'
But we did it. And [emotional cough] - together.
Next: trib, my new Best Knitting Friend, is going to translate the cabled tree pattern for me. I will NOT be beaten. I CAN do this, I WILL do this. [sticks two fingers up at unclear patterns]
Huh. I thought if you practised something, generally speaking you got better at it, not worse.
The aim:
Ideal for one of the Mumsnet blankets I thought - simple, yet slightly different with a bit of texture. So this is what I'm aiming for, ok?
Exhibit A:
It's a bit hard to tell when the wool is so dark, but my diagonals have a twisty-turny bit that doesn't look like it's in the original.
Plus, obviously, it's not remotely quite square. I did follow the instructions, even when they seemed to have a random 'slip one' at the start of every purl row for no good reason as far as I can see.
(Sidebar: Make-one-purlwise is a tricky little stitch, no?)
Exhibit B:
I know. I fucking know, all right? It's even more shit than the first attempt. Just look at the tension on the twisty-turny diagonal. Those stitches are huge. And gaping. To misquote Craig Revel-Horwood 'You could drive a bus through those gaps.'
Maybe I should have used my smallest needles instead of larger ones (with this pattern you just keep increasing until you get to the length you want, which obviously happens more quickly with larger needles). Maybe I shouldn't knit when I'm tired. Maybe I need to practice more styles.
Maybe I'm just not very good at this.
Maybe, I've reached my limit of capabilities and this is it.
I just don't know. I don't know if I'm being defeatist (stampy-foot attitude is giving way to being disheartened instead), or realist, or perhaps a bit of both. Do I frog it (technical term for saying 'fuck it' undoing it), or try and sew it tighter? Is there any point trying again with smaller needles? Could I try it without the stitch marker - would that make a difference?
If I'm continuing to crowbar my knitting-is-a-metaphor-for-life idea in, then I suppose I should try again. But I suspect I'll feel even worse if I do, and it's still crappola.
Most of my spare time recently has been taken up with knitting for the Mumsnet blankets. I'll post about what I've done when I can be arsed later, because we've got a deadline to get them in the post.
The first blanket is for the family of a poster called WubblyBubbly, who sadly died of breast cancer just a few weeks ago. Before she died she had a sort of dream or vision, that after we die we all
'go back to earth in a million different places to sit on top of mountains, become snow flakes and grains of sand. We become a part of earth. We really never leave.'
Ah-ha, I thought, I could pick a pattern for a square bearing that concept in mind. I'm knitting using wool donated by another Mumsnetter in a lovely soft light green colour, which would suit a earth/trees/growing/cycle of life kind of theme. I found this pattern:
Rather lovely, no? And the intertwining could represent family, or the connectedness of all of our lives, or offshoots/ new growth (her son is five), etc. etc. All good.
I checked in The Book - the section on cabling is less than a page. Pah, easy. I had a quick practice - my cable needle kept dropping out , but it was no big deal to shove it back in. Another skill ticked off. Let's look at this pattern then.
Teeny, tiny problem. The pattern isn't a 'k15 p8 k10' type, oh no, rather, it looks like this:
No, I haven't a fucking clue either. But hey, there's an explanation, how hard can it be? I'm an intelligent person. (Husband: 'No, you're a very intelligent person.' Not really true, but bless.)
So I started trying to write it out by hand. The first thing I notice is that there are a lot of rows, and a lot of stitches in a row. I double-check the pattern (yes, yes, I should have done this before) - it's a 9" square. Too big (we need 6" squares). So, not only do I need to translate it into KnittingBasic, I need to reduce it by a third, all over. Ok, I could trim a bit off the top, quite a bit from the trunks, a bit from the ground... not so much from the sides. Definitely not a third.
Time for a re-think. Back to my beloved but not so much today Ravelry and I found this pattern instead:
Not the whole dress, obviously, just the tree bit. Twining branches; growth; past; present; future: tick, tick, tick. It's a bit narrow this time, but no problem, I can add some at the sides - easy-peasy because that would just be plain. Little bit of cabling - I've got that sussed.
But...
I'm angry just looking at that image. Again, I spent too long a while trying to translate it. Plus, I think there's a mistake - after knitting a few rows, it's all just bumps. There's no relief pattern. Ok, I adjust the pattern and voila! a trunk is appearing. But if that part of the pattern was wrong, what about the rest? This makes me then question what I've translated so far, so I correct.
And then undo a few rows, and re-correct, and try again.
And again.
And then I give up in a fit of pique. I can't do it, I can't work it out, I am beaten. Cabling is NOT easy, and above all I can't translate graph patterns for toffee. [stamp of foot]
This is pretty typical of my approach to many things in life. I get a few basics down, skip the bits that look boring and jump to the parts that look more interesting. And guess what - it turns out those boring bits were perhaps quite essential, and that you have to master those FIRST before moving on. I did read the not-quite-a-page on cabling carefully, but hey! as there are entire books just on cabling on Amazon, perhaps it's not quite as simple as The Book suggests.
The stampy-foot feeling is pretty typical for me as well. It's not so much a 'But it's not MY fault' feeling as a 'Fine! FINE! Well I might as well JUST GIVE UP THEN' feeling. But... this time, I sucked it up instead. I'm not knitting this for fun. I'm not knitting this for practice, or to improve my skills, or because it's therapeutic (those are all fortunate side-effects). I'm knitting this to help - hopefully - a family who have lost someone they love, and for a little boy who will grow up without a mother. My son is five too and it's heartbreaking to think of what Wubbly's son must be going through.
So I have another look on Ravelry, and I find this:
Perfect. And in a normal pattern.
Knitting eh? It's a metaphor for life, innit.
