Practice makes imperfect

Huh. I thought if you practised something, generally speaking you got better at it, not worse.
The aim:

Ideal for one of the Mumsnet blankets I thought - simple, yet slightly different with a bit of texture. So this is what I'm aiming for, ok?








Exhibit A:

It's a bit hard to tell when the wool is so dark, but my diagonals have a twisty-turny bit that doesn't look like it's  in the original.


Plus, obviously, it's not remotely quite square. I did follow the instructions, even when they seemed to have a random 'slip one' at the start of every purl row for no good reason as far as I can see. 


(Sidebar: Make-one-purlwise is a tricky little stitch, no?)


Exhibit B:

I know. I fucking know, all right? It's even more shit than the first attempt. Just look at the tension on the twisty-turny diagonal. Those stitches are huge. And gaping. To misquote Craig Revel-Horwood 'You could drive a bus through those gaps.'


Maybe I should have used my smallest needles instead of larger ones (with this pattern you just keep increasing until you get to the length you want, which obviously happens more quickly with larger needles). Maybe I shouldn't knit when I'm tired. Maybe I need to practice more styles. 


Maybe I'm just not very good at this.


Maybe, I've reached my limit of capabilities and this is it.


I just don't know. I don't know if I'm being defeatist (stampy-foot attitude is giving way to being disheartened instead), or realist, or perhaps a bit of both. Do I frog it (technical term for saying 'fuck it' undoing it), or try and sew it tighter? Is there any point trying again with smaller needles? Could I try it without the stitch marker - would that make a difference?


If I'm continuing to crowbar my knitting-is-a-metaphor-for-life idea in, then I suppose I should try again. But I suspect I'll feel even worse if I do, and it's still crappola.