‘Look after yourself’

 I don’t know how many times people have said to me ‘make sure you look after yourself’ or ‘take care of yourself’, or variations thereof. 

I know they mean well. This isn’t a ‘how dare people attempt empathy’ rant. 

But my overriding internal response is ‘but I don’t know how to do that/what does that actually mean??!’

I’ve been reflecting on it and in no particular order (partly so I remember how to do it when the overwhelm hits and I just can’t remember what helps) here is a list:

- Physical self-care. The basics. Brush my teeth (I hate teeth brushing - it’s so boring, the mint burns, it always seems to take aaages. I also hate the furry teeth feeling, go figure). Wash my hair even when I feel like I cba. Take my vitamins. Going to bed early isn’t a problem as I’m usually dead on my feet by 10pm anyway. 

- Exercise, preferably outdoors. I’m pretty good at exercising as I have finally found exercise I like (swimming, cycling, weights, yoga) but when I’m feeling just… meh, getting outside often helps. Maybe a loop of the village, or yoga outside in the back garden, or table tennis with the kids. Setting a timer for 7 minutes and just sitting outside and being. 

- Eating is always a tricky issue. I never forget to eat, or skip meals, but the balance of giving myself nourishment while not eating my feelings is a tough one. 

- Meditation. I usually forget this one, but it does usually help. Just a ten-minute lie down with a guided meditation. 

- Which may lead to napping. Especially with a soundscape on in the background. 

- Thinking about what hobbies I like to do. Card games, board games, crochet (I know things are dipping when I can’t concentrate on the pattern, even if it’s basic), diamond painting, hanji puzzles. 

- Small household tasks. Make a phone call. Clean one window. Then I feel virtuous and like I’ve ticked something off, but without it taking all day. 

- Music. Either dancing to something full volume (Just Dance is a good combo of this and exercise), whacking up the tunes in the car, or playing guitar. I’m still very much learning, but I can stumble my way through a few different tracks. Learning a new skill as a fully grown adult is HARD. 

- Being by myself. Sometimes it’s better to just take myself away and recharge. 

- Reading. I’ve stopped attempting to read a couple of books lately, not because they were bad, but because they felt like hard work. (Which reminds me: never, ever, read A Little Life if you are feeling anything less than 100%. Or just don’t read it at all.)

- Writing this stuff up. 

Tbc…